


Discord musings become dreams: Orange pokes

by Lexxxi



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Demon peen, Discord conversations become reality, Dumb musings, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:41:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24625654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexxxi/pseuds/Lexxxi
Summary: ***If you're not in the Obey Me Host's Club Discord then this will make 0 sense! You have been warnedI was very inspired by an amusing conversation held in the Shall we Date: Obey Me Fan group, Hosts Club's discord server, so i decided to take snippets of it and turn it into a scene in the kitchen of the house of LamentationI've tried to keep quotes accurate and include the correct names, so appologies for inaccuracies! Hope everyone finds it as amusing as I did :)This group never fails to make me smile
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Discord musings become dreams: Orange pokes

**Author's Note:**

> If you are stumbling on to this with no context, I'm so so sorry! Lmao

Lexi opens her eyes and looks around slowly, blinking rapidly trying to get her eyes to adjust, head feeling woozy. “The kitchen?” she thought, looking around and spotting the familiar setting. Was it the kitchen? Everything was bright, too bright, colours warping and shifting around her. She tries to focus on the swirling images before her, making out small bright shapes flitting around on black wings. “Am I having a fucking stroke?” she asks herself as she reaches out to grab one of the critters flitting around her, eyes still out of focus. Her hand brushes it and it stalls for a moment, so she curls her fingers around it. She felt the critter flit around her hand, until it gives up and flops down into her palm, still. “Ergh its wet?” Lex mused, bringing it closer to look at it. Her eyes start to focus, and she shrieks surprised as she realizes the creature is a bright red, spikey, very phallic shaped being, with tiny little black leather wings. She drops it in surprise, its little wings stretching out to glide away before it hits the floor, making shrill little insulted little “Hrmmphs” as it flits away. “What the actual fuck?!” Lex yelled, quickly realizing all the swirling critters were various sized, shaped and coloured little phallic beings.

She goes to swat them away in shock as they flit closer, but a hand snakes out from behind her and grabs her wrist. “Wha..”Lex begins as she turns to face the owner of the hand. She greeted by the familiar face of Mandy, a fellow exchange student at RAD. “Lexi!” She scolds, still gripping her wrist. “You must never snap the peen!”. “Ohh.. I ah, didn’t know..” Lex begins confused. “No, but you can shake it!” comes a cute voice followed by a trill of giggles, as Misaki comes skipping in, arms linked with Teal, before settling in to sit at the kitchen table with the other students. 

Lex blinks again, confused, struggling to keep her eyes open to look at the scene before her. A large group of the RAD exchange students are clustered around the table giggling and chatting happily, popcorn flying across the table. “Ohhh Lexi!” Calls Sneha from the table, smiling brightly and waving. Kitten, sitting next to her, smiles. “Hey!” Kitten calls happily, throwing Lexi a large pink heart. Lexi catches it, watching amazed as it shimmers into her hand. 

“Ugh, Rona’s a bitch” Sighs Newton, as he slumps down onto the table. “The Ronapocolypse can kiss my ass” agrees Abby with a frown. “Yep, the Rona is a pick me ass bitch” says Rosa in solidarity. Newton sits up and leans against Abby, smirking deviously. “Sorry, I’m saving my ass for someone else” he replies cheekily, causing Abby and Mandy to snort in amusement. “But, I’ll fight Rona” Newton finishes with a shrug. Lexi laughs at absurd scene unfurling in front of her, as Rosa leads the conversation to rallying her troops to violently march against Rona. Winter chiming in to offer up her sword to the cause.

Lexi blinks slowly, still dizzy, leaning against the kitchen counter. A slow smile spreads across her face as she watches her friends plot a violent demise for the disease. “I’m no fighter, but I got a mean tongue?” She chimes in with a laugh. “Lexi will lick us” replies Rosa with a giggle. “Rona play dirty, we play dirtier” Newton snickers, causing an amused blush to spread across Lexi’s cheeks. “Yea and we all thought you said you had a hella donkey dick earlier, not kick, so… that was a thing.” Calls out Teal, smiling at Newton from across the table, tears in her eyes from laughter. The conversation turns to discussing Newton having a travel size retractable peen until one of the larger of the phallic beings glides its way down to the table and settles in front of Mandy, now at the table, arms linked with Rosa and Ash. 

“DEMON PEEN!” The students at the table cheer, lifting their glasses and clinking them together. “Here” says Rosa, as she rises to hand Lexi a glass of the sparkling liquid. “Drink up!” giggles Misaki, as Teal screeches like a possum throws out a handful of animated possum pictures across the table. “DUMB BITCH JUICE FOR ALL!” laughs Mandy. “Here here!” Lexi replies with a smile, sipping from her drink. Mandy, Sneha and Abby all reach down to their bags and pull out rainbow glowsticks to wave around as they laugh, cheering and drinking from their glasses. The conversation turns back to the little peens still littering the table, and Mandy reminds everyone once again that they are not to be cracked. 

“OH!” Shouts newton suddenly, jumping up from the table. “Do you know the grapefruit method?!” he asks, with a devious smile on his face. “Oh god” Teal groans as she sinks her face into her hand. Mandy throws a screeching possum across the table in response, as the other students share knowing, amused grins, or like Lexi, looks of confusion. “Shake it twist it pull it” Snorts Celeste, to which Teal groans again. Mandy clinks glasses with Celeste smiling as they both yell “BOP IT!” with a laugh. Newton pulls out his DD and starts playing an educational video on the pornographic uses of a grapefruit, causing half the table to laugh in delight and the other half to discuss the merits and downfalls of this. Ash sits there looking confused until a warm blush spreads across her cheeks, slapping her hand to her forehead. “I was confused, and then I got it” she groaned “kinda wish I stayed confused”, the table erupted in laughter with her, eyes shining with tears. Misaki lifts her head from Teal’s shoulder, looking confused. “I still don’t get it. Whats the fruits for?” She asked, accentuating her point by throwing one of Teal’s signature possum, sending it scuttling across the table. Mandy grabs her hand lightly and explains, laughing, “it’s to wrap around the peener”, causing a whole new eruption of laughter from the table. The discussion about the merits of citrus in the bedroom continues. Mirumoto groans “I mean.. are there childrens listening in?” She asks with a laugh, but looking around nervously. Newton, Misaki and Mandy continue, laughing at Misaki’s claim to innocence, causing Lexi to giggle into her drink.

Lexi hears a clinking to her right and turns to face the noise. She is greeted by the sight of a large muscular booty poking out from the form bent in front of the fridge. “Beel?” Lexi calls out questioningly. “Mhhmm?” he replies, turning to face the table, handsome face stuffed full of hamburger. “Omg Beel would love that!” Newton gushed, gesturing to the video still up on his DD, Rosa nodded enthusiastically in agreeance, while Misaki looks to them, utterly mortified. Beel raises an eyebrow to them, questioningly, as he stuffs another hamburger into his mouth, causing more pearls of laughter to ring out across the kitchen. “Oh lord, would he eat it after?” Muses Teal, with a cheeky grin, causing the whole table to lose composure. Tears stream down faces, while popcorn and little peens are thrown at eachother, letting Beel escape the chaos unnoticed.  
Misaki and Newton continue the banter, Teal chiming in occasionally to stir them on. Lexi smiles, seeing the fruit bowl next to her and tosses an orange over to the group, grinning deviously, as Newton catches it. Misaki jumps up to chase Newton around the room “Here’s a hug newton!” Misaki chimes, reaching over to him as he darts away. “You might get poked” Teal teases Misaki. “Hug from a grapefruit or…?”Lexi calls out to the duo, still running around the table, tears now streaming down her face from laughter. “LEXI NO!” Misaki yells, as Teal breaks down into heavy sobs of laughter, collapsed back into her chair. “Omg I’m leaving” Teal wheezes. “You ain’t getting poked by me!” Newton calls out indignantly, darting away from Misaki. “Explain!” Misaki huffs at Teal, before turning her attention back to Newton, “Come back here” she calls sweetly with her arms outstretched, continuing her chase. “I WAS JUST KIDDING SHEESH, SINCE HE WAS ALL RILED UP BY BEEL!” Laughs Teal loudly, still collapsed into her chair and wheezing slightly. Misaki stops in her tracks and slaps her hands to her face, to cover the rising flush as she realizes out loud, much to everyone’s amusement “OH POKED BY DICK! I thought you meant orange stem!” She wailed, embarrassment colouring her cheeks. “You know, because Lexi threw the orange before! I was like, oh orange pokes?” she tried to ration, her laughter spilling out before she could finish her sentence. “Well I couldn’t find a grapefruit”, laughed Lexi.

“Oh Misaki”, Akira cooed, reaching out to pat her shoulder, the laughter in the room as infectious as ever. “Title of the fic: Orange Pokes” Mused Mirumoto. “Is that an orange in your pocket, or a you just happy to see me?” Teal asked, waggling her eyebrows, causing Akira to breakdown into a fit of giggles. “Nah, it’s a grapefruit” replied Newton, not missing a beat, as the two trouble makers slid back into their seats at the table. Lexi choked on her juice a little at that last remark, fighting for composure.  
Lexi smiles at the little peen still flying above, watching them soar and dib around the room, as the conversation at the table gets increasingly dirty by the second. As if on cue, Celeste storms into the room, very graphic, fleshy, phallic supersoaker of holy water at the ready and starts mercilessly spraying down Misaki, Newton and Akira, who pause their raunchy banter only to squeal in protest. Misaki jumps out of her chair by Newton and runs over to sit by Teal again, draping her arm around her indignantly. Newton smirks at Celeste, unphased and cracks another grapefruit joke, earning another drenching, causing Lexi to spit out her juice as she snorted at the sight  
Unphased by the chaos, Abby and Ash jump up to grab a fresh bags of popcorn from the cupboard, while Teal tops up everyone’s juice glasses. “OMG! Mandy!” Cries Ash suddenly, almost dropping her popcorn as she reaches into her blazer pocket frantically. After a few seconds of digging around, a bright smile spreads across her face as she pulls out a long purple object with a colourful face painted on the end of it, tossing it to Mandy. “HONK PEEN!” Mandy cries enthusiastically, excitedly expecting the object in question, receiving shouts out applause and pearls of laughter from the rest of the table. Sneha and Kitten grab each other’s shoulders for support as they burst with laughter, tears leaking from their eyes, as the conversations around the table quickly turn back to peen. Ash laughs and reaches into her pocket and scatters the contents across the table. Dozens of peen, large and small of different colours and sizes skitter across the table. A glowing rainbow one shakes its way over to Kitten who smiles at it as Teal reaches out for it and tucks it away in her pocket, giggling to Misaki who produces a doge gif. Mandy grins in approval, emptying her own pockets of peen onto the table. “The House of Shlong!” Kitten cries out with a grin, earning applause from the rest of the students. 

The room begins to spin for Lexi again, colours melting together, and voices fading out again as she watches the pile of peen critters on the table spill over onto the floor while the ones with wings buzz around her frantically. “Time to wake up Lexi” Calls a low commanding voice in front of her, where the group of her friends had just been. She blinks hard, rubbing her eyes, trying to clear them of the fog now filling them. When she opens them again, Lexi finds herself staring into the cold black eyes of a large, green, grinning turtle. The aura of power surrounding the turtle was choking out the air around her, until the room fades to black. 

Lexi wakes with a start, groaning, as she clutches at her head, strange images of the dream still clinging to her consciousness. “That’s it.” She says firmly, “No more dumb bitch juice before bed”


End file.
